Now Playing:
» The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me - Brand New
» The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

It's also become an archive for anything remotely related to "content" that was once found on Villainess.net. To fully satiate your nostalgic curiousity, I've provided a blow-by-blow guide to everything that has moved/disappeared/died at Villainess.net. You'll find that in the extended entry (although, please note that most of this info is out-of-date). It's taken me two years to archive things to this point, and I'm likely to continue tweaking until the entire site satisfies my compulsion for thorough archival.

And in the meantime, I am exploiting Livejournal for all my personal website and 'blogging needs.

Will work on making this entire site (http://villainess.net/actress) read only soon. A virtual archive of everything I've done online ever I think. Will be closing various projects as well(a heads up in case anyone would like to adopt Fading Cadence). And looking at starting over or not somewhere else (supervillainess.com perhaps?). :bling:

It started in July when I switched from working 1st and 2nd shifts to 2nds exclusively. You see, on 1st shift at a Holiday Inn Express you're exposed to the glory that is a Continental Breakfast. We're talking gooey cinnamon rolls, doughy bagels w/ cream cheese spreads, muffins, danish... Much goodness. Which is pretty irresistible considering that I have the metabolism of a chipmunk and am generally starving by 9:00 if I've been up since 6.

Which was a swell plan. Except that I've managed to lose another 3-4 pounds in the meantime. And by "managed-to" I mean "no clue how that happened." 9 pounds total doesn't sound like much. But consider. I'm exactly 5' 4&3/8" tall w/ a teeny frame/build. I've got a variable weight range of anywhere from 125-140 - that's the safe zone. Anything lower than that I look like a Holocaust victim, and while I've never seen anything higher, it'd be "overweight" by all the medical standards I've seen. The point? I was at 139 and very comfortable (hey, the extra padding looked good on me!) - I've suddenly lost 9 out of a mere 15 possible pounds.

Aside from being freaked out, I'm annoyed. My favourite jeans are now too-big. AFTER being washed in hot water and dried all the way. And my non-favourites? Suuuuure. I had to dig out a pair of jeans I was wearing during 1st year of college. When I was 18.

I'll deal if I don't gain that 9 pounds back, but dude...

Now Playing:
» Amnesiac - Radiohead
» With Teeth - NIN
» Out of Exile - Audioslave

Lately listening to:
» With Teeth - Nine Inch Nails

Lately listening to:
» With Teeth - Nine Inch Nails

Francesca totally rationalises not leaving with Robert, in part (I think) because while she's bold enough to have a 3-day affair, she's not bold enough to bank on it. Or, she'd've left the farm on her own when it started suffocating her. Or not - I'm probably condemning Francesca offhand because I admire nerve and recklessness.

Her suffering is just so noble. She says that it would be selfish and base to leave with Robert - hard for her kids, and the judgemental community they'll have to live in. That it will hurt her husband Richard, and that he's a good man who never hurt anyone else and doesn't deserve this. That for all these evil things leaving will bring, she will begin to resent Robert, blame him for all the hurt, and that it would ruin the close incomparable intimacy of their time together.

So, her kids are growing up in a community full of hypocrites - they're going to grow up knowing all the adults around them are liars. Kids know those things, and they know when their parents are unhappy. She should tell them, give them some honesty, and even if it's horrible and painful she should be happy. Kids are resilient anyways - they bounce back and stuff when you hand them the truth.

Her husband? Does NOT Score karma points for not-hurting anyone. Benign growths don't hurt either, but you still have them removed. Even if he's affable and bland, she shouldn't waste her life with someone just 'cause he's nice. This is the guy who can watch her cry for no apparent reason, and just turn on the radio when she says "It's ok."

And if she could just get over her trepidation and guilt, she wouldn't have to hate Robert for taking her away. She could just wait and hate him for normal things like missing the toilet, and leaving crumbs on the counter, and being gone t/making pictures all the time.

She paints herself into a corner, and acts as if she doesn't leave Right Now while her family is gone, she can't do it at all. She actually has some overlap there - where her family is back, and Robert is still in town. She could tell them, try to explain, create closure. She could get him to stay a while longer while she ties up loose ends. I'm talking pragmatism here people. Romance is fine, but if you can't back it up with rock-solid ice-cold practicallity you're going to end up with a lot of melodrama, unrequited love, and a weepy chick flick.

So I think Ive been using the term "event horizon" improperly for a while. It's not that I don't get what it means (really, I've got a nice conceptual grasp of astro-physics), it's that it doesn't mean what it ought to (in a world according to me). It ought to be climactic. And end all be all. A beginning or an end. A breaking point, a turning point - the last straw, or a point of maximum saturation. It absolutely should not be an instance of limitation, a boundary. I am slightly mollified by the fact that it would just function as a bizarre sort of disappearing horizon to an observer. Because horizons partially fit the bill for beginings/turning points. Slightly mollified, you hear. Not completely.

Don't know what I'm going to do now that I can't (blissfully ignorantly) continue to use event horizon improperly. I mean, saturation point is an option, but Ksp totally lacks atmosphere/overture/impact.

I also totally don't get a singularity. I mean, I get the difference between a gravitational singularity and a naked one, but I so don't get the space-time curvature thing. Just can't invision it. This is partially because I have issues with space-time.:neutral:

American Idol is on in the background (waiting for House), and I can't help but wonder how many quality hours these people have sunk into performing in front of the bathroom mirror. Just think, if you upgraded your "singing along w/ the radio in the car" time, you too could be the next American Idol. :impressed:

More and more often these days I find myself making a choice between rest and work. And choosing rest. Just that these work days - up at 6, and an 8-hour shift... I'm finding it reeeeeallly hard to follow those days up w/ more stuff. Hmm. :neutral:

I've spent so many evenings (second and third shifts) working front desk shifts lately. They're boring, not much work, hardly any customers, because we're slow in the winter. I'd end up using the guest/lobby computer to catch up via web mail, and various on-line projects. Because nevermind the fact that I'm already at work - I can't possibly spend an 8 hour shift only covering one of my jobs. And then, two weeks ago I bought a teeny Mac G4 iBook so my work can go with me everywhere. Airport, wireless 'net card - it's super pimp. I've got all my data with me (instead of transporting bits on floppy), and I can use the satellite wireless here at work which is a million times faster than the 28 k dialup I have at home.

But it's a new computer. And I'm using the built-in trackpad and not the external mouse. And I am so tired of being out my element computer wise. It feels like it's been months since I've been able to sit down and get a lot of work done. All my projects are out of date, and this whole transition is awkward (exacerbated by weeks of using the lobby computer). I desperately want to draft new layouts for Villainess and AOA, but I haven't acclimmated to my new text editor. FORGET transitioning from PSP to Photoshop. I like change and stuff, I'm game. I just need a little space to catch my breath. Too much change, too fast.:frazzled:

I met Bill Murray last month. I'll probably back date a post later on, but it's a shame when a person is to busy to 'blog about the day she ran into Bill Murray at a teeny hotel in the middle of nowhere.

Also updated Fading Cadence - finally. Lots of new members, and no more broken images/links.

Tomorrow, I'm starting a 4 week herbal cleanse regimen that works to ... what's that word when you force deadbeat renters to move out? Not excommunicate but... dang. Whatever at verb is. The cleanse removes the yeast and other cultures that fester in your lower intestines. It's not a big deal - just that these particular cultures tend to feed on and create sugar cravings, and can exacerbate allergies. I am NOT spending another summer in allergen hell, especially not after an entire winter in head cold hell. And I've wanted to eliminate refined sugars from my diet anyways. Good timing then. Of coure, one could argue that I don't exactly need ANOTHER new element and alien habit in my life. But no one ever said I knew what was good for me.

I'd kill for just a little bit of summer. And some sun on my skin.:grieved:

And I'm a little bit lonely.

I should probably spend my next 6.5 hours updating a site, or getting .php sorted but I'm tired. It's night time, and I should be in bed. Perhaps tomorrow I'll have a half an hour to sit and bond with my mouse. For now, I'm plugging in earphones and watching Wicker Park.

Lately listening to:
» Tales of a Librarian - Tori Amos